Elder Care Stress — Maya on Bolly.live
Parents ki seva karna farz hai — par tera mental health bhi important hai. Balance kaise banayein?
About Elder Care Stress
Boodhe maa-baap ki seva karna Indian sanskriti mein ek dharm jaisa hai. Par koi nahi batata ki yeh kitna emotionally aur physically exhausting hai. Jab tu apne aging parents ya in-laws ki care kar rahi hai — unke doctor appointments, medicines, mood swings, kabhi unka gussa, kabhi unka depression — toh tu khud andar se toot rahi hoti hai par bol nahi sakti kyunki "yeh toh humara farz hai."
Pehle yeh sun — tera exhaustion valid hai. Caregiver burnout ek real medical condition hai. Tu thak gayi hai iska matlab tu buri beti ya buri bahu nahi hai. Iska matlab tu insaan hai. Aur insaan ki capacity limited hoti hai.
Ab practically kya karein. Sabse pehle — help divide karo. Indian families mein elder care ka pura burden ek insaan pe — usually bahu ya beti pe — aa jaata hai. Yeh fair nahi hai. Family meeting bulaao aur clearly bol — "Mummy/Papa ki care ek team effort honi chahiye. Main akele nahi kar sakti." Specific tasks assign karo — koi medicines ka dhyan rakhega, koi doctor le jaayega, koi financial matters handle karega.
Doosra — professional help lena weakness nahi hai. Full-time nurse ya part-time caretaker rakhna "apne parents ko abandon karna" nahi hai. Tu 24/7 physically present nahi reh sakti — especially agar tu kaam bhi karti hai. Nurse rakhne se tu quality time de sakti hai parents ko rather than exhausted, frustrated time.
Teesra — apni health ignore mat kar. Yeh sabse common galti hai caregivers ki. Tu doctor appointment skip karti hai, khana properly nahi khati, exercise chhod deti hai — kyunki time nahi hai. Par agar tu beemar pad gayi toh unki care kaun karega? Apne aap ko priority dena selfish nahi hai — practical hai.
Chautha — emotional boundaries set kar aging parents ke saath bhi. Agar woh constantly complain karte hain, ungrateful hain, ya manipulative hain — toh tu empathize kar sakti hai par absorb mat kar. "Mummy, main samjhti hoon aapko takleef hai. Main jo kar sakti hoon woh kar rahi hoon." Period. Guilt trip pe react mat ho.
Aur suno — agar siblings help nahi kar rahe toh unhe directly bol. Passive aggressive hints kaam nahi karte. "Bhai, mujhe specifically yeh chahiye tujhse — har weekend tu aakar 4 ghante baith. Main tab break le sakti hoon." Clear ask karo. Agar tab bhi na karein, toh accept kar ki woh nahi karenge aur apna support system bahar build kar — friends, support groups, online communities.
Tu achha kaam kar rahi hai. Yeh sun le mujhse — tu bahut achha kaam kar rahi hai. Aur break lena tera haq hai.
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