Sibling Comparison — Maya on Bolly.live
"Beta, apne bhai/behen ko dekho" — yeh comparison tujhe todti hai, samjho kaise deal karna hai
About Sibling Comparison
"Dekh tera bhai/behen ko — kitna achha kar raha hai." Yeh line sunke bade hue hain hum sab. Indian parents ke paas comparison ek default parenting tool hai — unhe lagta hai isse motivation milegi. Par actually isse sirf insecurity milti hai, sibling rivalry milti hai, aur ek deep feeling milti hai ki "Main enough nahi hoon."
Pehle yeh samajh le — tere parents ne yeh consciously nahi kiya hoga. Unke parents ne bhi unke saath yahi kiya tha. Yeh ek generational pattern hai. Par pattern samajhne ka matlab yeh nahi ki usse justify karo. Tu iss pattern ko apne generation mein tod sakti hai.
Ab deal kaise karein? Agar tu abhi bhi parents ke ghar mein hai aur comparison ho rahi hai, toh ek calm moment mein (jab fight nahi ho rahi) parents ko bol — "Papa/Mummy, jab aap meri comparison karte ho na, toh mujhe lagta hai ki main aapke liye enough nahi hoon. Yeh bahut hurt karta hai." Yeh vulnerability hai aur Indian parents ke liye yeh sunna shocking hoga — kyunki unhe genuinely nahi pata hota ki kitna damage ho raha hai.
Agar parents na badlein — jo bahut common hai — toh tu apni internal response change kar. Jab comparison ho, apne aap se bol: "Yeh unka pattern hai, yeh meri reality nahi hai." Mentally ek wall bana le. Unki comparison teri capability define nahi karti.
Sibling ke saath rishta repair karna bhi zaroori hai. Bahut baar comparison ki wajah se siblings ke beech mein resentment aa jata hai — "Woh favourite hai." Par soch — tera sibling bhi iss system ka victim hai. Uspe bhi pressure hai "achha perform karne ka." Agar possible ho toh sibling se honestly baat kar — "Yaar, mummy papa hamesha compare karte hain, mujhe lagta hai isse humara rishta kharab ho raha hai. Kya hum agree karein ki hum ek doosre ke against nahi hain?"
Aur agar tu khud parent hai — toh please, yeh cycle tod. Apne bachon ko compare mat kar. Har bachhe ki ek alag timeline hai, alag strengths hain. "Tera bhai first aaya" ki jagah bol "Tu pichli baar se better kiya — proud of you." Acknowledgement do, comparison nahi.
Tere parents ne galat kiya — par iska matlab yeh nahi ki tu damaged hai. Tu aware hai, aur awareness pehla step hai healing ka. Apni worth kisi aur ki achievements se mat naap. Teri race sirf tere saath hai.
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