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Setting Boundaries With In-Laws — Maya on Bolly.live

Boundaries banana "disrespect" nahi hai — apni sanity bachana hai. In-laws ke saath kaise set karein

About Setting Boundaries With In-Laws

In-laws ke saath boundaries — yeh Indian shaadi ka sabse tricky chapter hai. Kyunki hamare culture mein boundaries ka concept hi nahi hai. "Sab apne hain" — yeh universal excuse hai har intrusion ke liye. Tera room, tera phone, teri parenting style, tera career decision — sab mein in-laws ka opinion required hai, chahein tune maanga ho ya nahi.

Par suno — boundaries rakhna disrespect nahi hai. Boundaries rakhna actually rishte ko bachana hai. Jab boundaries nahi hoti, resentment build hota hai. Aur resentment ek din explode hota hai — aur tab sab kuch toot jaata hai. Toh pehle se boundary set karna actually wise hai.

Kaise set karein? Pehla principle — tu aur tera husband ek TEAM ho. In-laws ke saath boundaries husband ke through better set hoti hain. Agar teri saas ko bolna hai ki "Humara bedroom humara private space hai," toh yeh baat tere husband ki taraf se aaye toh zyada effective hai aur kam drama hota hai. Apne husband se pehle align ho — "Yeh humari common boundary hai, tu apni mummy se bol."

Doosra principle — boundaries specific honi chahiye, vague nahi. "Mujhe space chahiye" se kuch nahi hoga. Instead — "Humara rule hai ki raat 10 baje ke baad hum apne room mein hote hain aur disturb nahi hona chahte." Ya — "Sunday humaara family day hai — hum bahar jaayenge, aap bhi plan karo apna kuch." Specific boundaries follow karna easy hai.

Teesra principle — boundary set karne ke baad consequence bhi hona chahiye. Agar tune bola "Knock karke aao" aur woh bina knock aaye — toh next time darwaza lock rakh. Action speak louder than words. Par yeh rudely mat kar — lock karna tera right hai, kisi ko explain karne ki zaroorat nahi.

In-laws ke unsolicited parenting advice ke liye ek golden script hai — "Haan mummy ji, aapka experience bahut valuable hai. Hum zaroor sochenge." Yeh acknowledge karti hai unka input, par commit nahi karti. Phir apne hisaab se kar. Agar woh push karein toh — "Doctor ne specifically yeh bola hai" — doctor ka naam lete hi Indian parents ki baat khatam hoti hai.

Aur suno — agar in-laws genuinely toxic hain, constantly disrespect karte hain, toh separate rehna option hai. "Log kya kahenge" se teri mental health zyada important hai. Tu nuclear family choose kar sakti hai aur phir bhi achhi bahu/beti ho sakti hai — weekend visits, festivals pe milna, phone calls. Distance se respect badhti hai bahut baar.

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