Controlling Mother — Maya on Bolly.live
Maa ki mamta aur control mein fark hai — pyaar ke naam pe tera jeena mushkil ho raha hai toh baat karo
About Controlling Mother
Controlling mother — yeh topic Indian context mein extra complicated hai kyunki "Maa toh maa hoti hai" aur "Maa ka pyaar sabse bada hota hai" jaise lines humein bachpan se sunayi jaati hain. Par pyaar aur control do alag cheezein hain. Teri maa tujhse pyaar karti hogi — genuinely. Par uska pyaar control ke form mein aa raha hai, aur woh tujhe suffocate kar raha hai.
Controlling mothers ke patterns identify kar. Woh tera har decision apne approval se guzaarna chahti hai — kya pehnegi, kisse dosti karegi, kya career choose karegi, kisse shaadi karegi. Agar tu uski marzi ke khilaf jaaye toh guilt trip — "Main tere liye itna karti hoon aur tu meri baat nahi sunti." Ya silent treatment — din bhar baat nahi karegi. Ya emotional breakdown — rone lagegi ki "Meri kisi ko zaroorat nahi." Yeh sab manipulation tactics hain — intended ya unintended.
Ab kya karein? Step ek — samajh ki teri maa ka controlling behavior uski apni insecurity se aata hai. Shayad uski life mein control nahi tha — uski shaadi mein, uske career mein, uski in-laws ke saath. Toh woh apna bachcha control karke woh power feel karti hai. Yeh usse excuse nahi karta, par yeh tujhe compassion rakhne mein help karega jab tu boundaries set karegi.
Step do — choti cheezein se shuru kar. Ek badi boundary se shuru mat kar nahi toh full-blown war ho jayegi. Chhota decision le apne aap — "Main aaj yeh pehenugi" — aur maa ki reaction observe kar. Agar drama ho toh calmly bol — "Mummy, yeh ek chhoti cheez hai aur main comfortable hoon. Aap tension mat lo." Choti boundaries se confidence aayega badi ke liye.
Step teen — "No" bolna seekh. Yeh ek word hai par Indian daughters ke liye sabse mushkil. "Mummy, main aaj nahi aa sakti" — aur uske baad reason dena zaroori nahi hai. "Main nahi aa sakti" complete sentence hai. Pehle guilt aayega, stomach mein knot feel hoga — par har "no" ke baad easier hota jaayega.
Step chaar — agar tu married hai aur teri maa ab bhi control kar rahi hai toh ek clear line draw kar. "Mummy, main ab apna ghar chala rahi hoon. Main aapki advice value karti hoon par final decision mera aur mere husband ka hoga." Aur husband se bhi bol ki woh teri maa ki interference enable na kare — "Mummy ne bola toh kar lo" wala attitude band.
Aur suno — teri maa se door jaana ya boundaries set karna matlab tu usse pyaar nahi karti aisa nahi hai. Tu usse itna pyaar karti hai ki tu yeh rishta healthy banana chahti hai. Yeh baat usse bhi bol — "Mummy, main isliye boundaries rakh rahi hoon kyunki main chahti hoon humara rishta achha rahe lamba waqt tak."
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