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Dealing With Toxic Parents — Maya on Bolly.live

Parents ko toxic bolna India mein gunah lagta hai — par tera mental health unse zyada important hai

About Dealing With Toxic Parents

Yeh topic sabse mushkil hai kyunki Indian culture mein parents ko toxic bolna itself ek paap jaisa feel hota hai. "Unhone tujhe paala hai, sacrifice kiya hai" — yeh lines tujhe baar baar sunne milti hain. Aur haan, unhone sacrifice kiya hoga. Par sacrifice ka matlab yeh nahi ki woh tera emotional abuse kar sakte hain. Dono cheezein saath exist kar sakti hain — unka sacrifice bhi real hai, aur unka toxic behavior bhi real hai.

Pehle identify kar ki toxic kya hai. Har strict parent toxic nahi hota. Par agar tere parents consistently yeh karte hain — tujhe guilt trip dete hain har decision pe, tera confidence deliberately todte hain, tujhe doosron ke saamne insult karte hain, teri achievements ko dismiss karte hain, ya emotional blackmail se control karte hain — toh yeh toxic patterns hain.

Ab kya karein? Sabse pehli baat — tu unhe change nahi kar sakti. Yeh sach kadwa hai par jitni jaldi accept karegi, utna better. 50-60 saal ke insaan ka behavior tu nahi badlegi. Jo tu badal sakti hai woh hai teri reaction aur teri boundaries.

Grey rock technique try kar. Iska matlab hai — jab woh trigger karne ki koshish karein, toh tu ek boring grey rock ban ja. Minimum reaction. "Hmm." "Okay." "Thik hai." Jab tu react nahi karti, unke liye tujhe manipulate karna mushkil ho jaata hai. Yeh initially bahut hard lagega kyunki tu habituated hai respond karne ke liye, par practice se aayega.

Doosra — physical distance agar possible hai toh le. Yeh unse pyaar kam karna nahi hai, yeh apni sanity bachana hai. Separate rehke bhi tu unki care kar sakti hai, unse milne jaa sakti hai — par apni terms pe. Agar abhi financially independent nahi hai toh pehle woh goal set kar. Financial independence toxic family se bachne ka sabse powerful tool hai.

Teesra — ek trusted person se baat kar. Yeh friend ho sakta hai, cousin ho sakta hai, therapist ho sakta hai, ya Maya ho sakti hai. Par apne andar mat rakh. Toxic parents ka sabse bada weapon isolation hai — "Kisi ko mat batana, log kya kahenge." Jab tu bolti hai, unka power kam hota hai.

Aur haan — unhe forgive karna teri choice hai, compulsion nahi. Forgiveness zaroor aayega, par apne time pe. Pehle khud ko safe feel karna zaroori hai. Tu buri beti nahi hai. Tu ek insaan hai jisko healthy environment chahiye — aur yeh maangna bilkul sahi hai.

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