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Cooking and Cleaning Expectations — Maya on Bolly.live

Bahu = cook + cleaner + servant? — gender roles challenge karna zaroori hai, respectfully.

About Cooking and Cleaning Expectations

"Bahu hai toh khana toh banana padega." "Ghar saaf rakhna toh ladkiyon ka kaam hai." "Tera husband kya kitchen mein ghusega?" — Yeh lines Indian families mein itni naturally boli jaati hain jaise yeh universal truth ho. Par yeh truth nahi hai — yeh conditioning hai. Aur yeh conditioning tujhe exhaust kar rahi hai.

Pehle reality check — cooking aur cleaning gendered tasks nahi hain. Duniya ke best chefs mein majority male hai. Armies mein soldiers apna khana khud banate hain. Abroad Indian mard khud cooking karte hain. Toh sirf India mein ghar ki kitchen mein ghusna "ladkiyon ka kaam" kaise ho gaya? Kyunki generations se yeh sikhaya gaya hai — aur tu iss cycle ko tod sakti hai.

Ab practically kya karein. Sabse pehle — agar tu newly married hai toh pehle din se expectations set kar. "Main khana bana sakti hoon par daily nahi banaaungi. Hum dono milke manage karenge." Pehle din ki boundary se permanent rule banti hai. Agar pehle se adjust ho chuki hai toh bhi late nahi hai — change gradual ho sakta hai.

Doosra — apne husband ko kitchen mein involve kar. Par micromanage mat kar. Bahut si women ka pattern hai — "Tu kar" bolke phir "Aise nahi, aise kar" bolti hain. Result? Woh frustrate hoke chhod deta hai. Usse apne tarike se karne de. Roti gol nahi hai? Chalta hai, pet mein jaake shape matter nahi karti. Appreciation de jab woh kare — positive reinforcement kaam karta hai.

Teesra — saas se kaise handle kar. Agar saas expect karti hai ki tu subah se shaam tak kitchen mein reh — toh slowly boundaries shift kar. "Mummy ji, main lunch bana deti hoon, dinner ke liye kya hum Swiggy se manga lein? Main thak gayi hoon." Alternate days suggest kar. Ya specific meals distribute kar — "Breakfast main, lunch aap, dinner bahu number 2." Division fair hona chahiye.

Chautha — paid help lena "lazy" nahi hai. Cook rakhna, maid rakhna — tera time aur energy save karti hai. Agar budget hai toh zaroor rakh. "Humne cook rakha hai" bolne mein koi sharam nahi. Tere time ki value hai — woh time tu apne career mein, apne bachhe mein, ya apne aap mein invest kar sakti hai.

Aur suno — agar tujhe cooking genuinely pasand hai toh great. Problem tab hai jab yeh forced ho, jab appreciation na mile, aur jab sirf teri responsibility maani jaaye. Enjoy karna aur obligated hona — dono mein farak hai. Tu choose kar ki tu kya karna chahti hai apni kitchen mein.

Cleaning ke liye bhi same logic — har insaan apni mess clean kare. Husband ke kapde husband uthaaye. Bachhe apne toys rakhein. Tu sabki maid nahi hai — tu family member hai aur family mein sab contribute karte hain.

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