Attachment Style and Breakups — Neha on Bolly.live

About Attachment Style and Breakups

Kya tune notice kiya hai ki har relationship mein tera ek pattern hota hai? Shayad tu bahut quickly attach ho jaati hai aur phir clingy feel karti hai. Ya shayad tu emotionally close hone se darri hai aur push away karti hai. Ya shayad tu ek insaan chahti hai par jab mil jaaye toh suffocated feel karti hai. Yeh sab attachment styles hain — aur inhe samajhna teri relationships ko permanently change kar sakta hai.

4 attachment styles hain: Secure — tu comfortable hai closeness ke saath bhi aur independence ke saath bhi. Yeh healthy hai. Anxious — tu constantly worry karti hai ki partner chhod dega, reassurance chahiye, separation anxiety hoti hai. Avoidant — tu intimacy se uncomfortable hai, independence zyada value karti hai, emotions express karna mushkil lagta hai. Disorganized — tu closeness chahti bhi hai aur usse darti bhi hai — push-pull dynamic.

Breakup mein tera attachment style directly affect karta hai ki tu kaise cope karti hai. Anxious attachment wali — tu obsessively ex ke baare mein sochti hai, contact karne ki urge resist nahi kar paati, tera self-worth partner pe dependent hai, aur akele rehna unbearable lagta hai. Avoidant attachment wali — tu initially relief feel karti hai, emotions suppress karti hai, "main theek hoon" boli ja rahi hai par andar somewhere dard hai jo tu acknowledge nahi kar rahi.

Apna attachment style identify karna pehla step hai. Online quizzes hain — "attachment style quiz" search kar. Par honestly, tu already jaanti hai. Apni past relationships ka pattern dekh — kya tu hamesha "chaser" thi? Kya tu hamesha woh thi jo zyada invest karti thi? Ya kya tu hamesha woh thi jo walls rakhti thi?

Ab isse heal kaise kare? Anxious attachment ke liye — apni self-soothing techniques develop kar. Jab anxiety wave aaye (woh feeling ki "kuch galat ho raha hai," "woh mujhe chhod dega"), toh apne aap ko ground kar. Deep breathing, journaling, self-talk — "Main safe hoon. Meri worth kisi aur ke actions pe depend nahi karti." Yeh roz practice karna padega.

Avoidant attachment ke liye — vulnerability practice kar. Apne close logon ke saath feelings share kar — even uncomfortable ones. "Mujhe aaj bura laga" — itna bolna bhi ek step hai. Emotions feel karna aur express karna ek muscle hai jo tu atrophy hone di hai.

Sabse important — secure attachment DEVELOP hota hai. Tu born nahi hoti secure ya insecure — yeh tere childhood experiences se banta hai par adult life mein change ho sakta hai. Therapy is the best route, par self-awareness bhi powerful hai. Jab tu apne patterns dekhti hai, toh tu consciously different choices kar sakti hai. Aur pehla different choice yeh hai ki tu apne breakup ko samjhe — sirf "woh bura tha" nahi, par "mere attachment patterns ne kya role play kiya?" Yeh accountability empowering hai.

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• Rebound Relationship

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