Giving Relationship a Second Chance — Priya on Bolly.live
Wapas jaana chahte ho? — pehle yeh samjho ki kya badla hai, ya sirf loneliness bol rahi hai
About Giving Relationship a Second Chance
"Kya hum dobara try karein?" — yeh sawaal tab aata hai jab breakup ke baad bhi feelings nahi gayi. Kabhi kabhi woh poochta hai, kabhi kabhi tu poochna chahti hai. Par second chance dena aur galti repeat karna — dono mein fine line hai. Samjhte hain kab second chance sense make karta hai aur kab nahi.
Pehle honest assessment kar — break kyun hua tha?
Agar breakup situational tha — long distance, career pressure, timing galat thi, family issues — aur woh situations ab change ho gayi hain, toh second chance reasonable hai. Problem EXTERNAL thi aur ab woh problem nahi hai.
Agar breakup behavioral tha — cheating, abuse, repeated lying, disrespect — toh BOHOT carefully soch. Behavior change karna possible hai par RARE hai. Aur usually professional help ke bina nahi hota. "Main badal gaya hoon" words mein nahi, consistent actions mein dikhna chahiye. Minimum 6 months ki changed behavior dekh before considering.
Agar breakup compatibility ka tha — different values, different life goals, fundamentally different personalities — toh second chance usually kaam nahi karega. Values rarely change. Jo core incompatibility thi, woh abhi bhi hogi.
Red flags ki second chance dene se pehle pehchaan:
"Mujhe lonely feel hota hai" — yeh reason nahi hai wapas jaane ka. Loneliness temporary hai, galat relationship permanent damage karti hai.
"Itna time invest kiya hai" — sunk cost fallacy. Jo time gaya woh gaya. Aur time invest karne ka matlab yeh nahi ki aur time waste karo.
"Koi aur nahi milega" — scarcity mindset. Milega. Par sirf tab jab tu emotionally available hogi — aur purane relationship mein stuck rehke emotionally available nahi hogi.
"Family ne bola try karo" — family ki opinion matter karti hai par TERA life hai. Family daily teri relationship nahi jeeti — tu jeeti hai.
Agar genuinely decide karti hai second chance dene ka — toh kuch rules hain:
Clean slate se start mat karo. Jo hua woh acknowledge karo. "Hum pretend nahi karenge ki kuch nahi hua. Jo problems the, woh address karenge."
New boundaries set karo. Jo pehle nahi tha woh ab hona chahiye. Better communication, specific behavior changes — dono agree karo.
Timeline rakh. "3 months mein dekhte hain ki yeh kaam kar raha hai ya nahi." Open-ended "dekhte hain" usually means nothing changes.
Outside help consider karo. Couple counseling ya at least individual therapy. Professional perspective bohot help karta hai.
Aur sabse important — trust your gut. Agar wapas jaake same uneasy feeling aa rahi hai, same patterns dikh rahe hain, same fights ho rahe hain — toh answer clear hai. Sometimes the bravest thing is walking away for good.
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